When I started this blog, I got so much enjoyment out of finding special bits of beauty where I least expected it. Right now, I feel so drained most days that writing even this small blog seems like a chore. It really isn’t though. It’s kind of like exercise. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing it, but once I start I really enjoy it. And I find the results really rewarding.
I feel like I’m a very modern (though often whingy) woman. I have a lot to be proud of and happy about. I’m a (relatively) young adult with a B.A. and an M.F.A. I own my home and car. I’m married and have two fantastic kids. I work anywhere between 1 and 5 jobs at a time, all in my chosen field. I have amazing friends that I don’t see nearly enough. I have a Twitterverse full of interesting people to talk to. I’m healthy (minus the chronic migraines… bleh.) I am what some other people aspire to be. But we’re never 100% happy with what we have are we?
With all of this responsibility comes a huge amount of stress and I really hoped that having this blog would help me focus my negative energies on something good… or maybe give me a 5 minute break in my day that would boost me. I’m almost 3/4 of the way trough my test year for this project and finding daily doses of beauty and joy is still a struggle. Why is that?
I don’t have the answer… but I’ll keep looking for it.
Day 240- A good friend of mine suggested I take a look at this person’s artwork. You should too.
Day 241- I spent almost the entire day taking care of my finances. I’d gone from balancing my books every week to ignoring them completely for months. Well not anymore. Today, I balanced my accounts perfectly. I’m completely up to date. And yes, this is a supremely geeky beautiful thing… don’t judge me!
Day 242 – Spoiler Alert!!! If you haven’t seen the movie BABIES and don’t want it ruined for you (ha! it’s a bunch of babies being cute… there I ruined it for you) skip to the next day.
There is a scene about 3/4 of the way through the movie where Mari (from Japan) and Bayar (from Mongolia) are playing. Stewart and I laughed out loud at the way the two babies were playing because it was absolutely fascinating and more than a little true. Mari is trying to do the simple task of placing a tubular wooden block into a donut shaped block. Frustration and a complete tantrum ensues, with full-on leg kicking and wailing. Bayar, tethered to a bed with a rope to keep him out of “harm’s way” somehow gets his hands on a roll of toilet paper. The sheer glee on his face is contagious as he unrolls the paper which gets caught on a nearby post. He eventually gets the full roll close enough to him so he can have a good munch on it. Mouth full of toilet paper, he couldn’t be happier while Mari has all of the modern toys at her disposal and is losing her mind. So funny and so beautiful.
Day 243 –
Wearing bright red lipstick and no other makeup while hanging out at home... because I can.
Day 244 – I’m almost positive I’ve told this story on my blog before, but I can’t find a sign of it anywhere.
When I was a kid and had nightmares, I’d quietly sneak into my parents’ room for comfort. Nothing strange there. The strange part though is the only thing that would calm me down enough to go back to sleep was a drink from my Mom’s bedside table water glass. I can’t really describe it, except for it always tasted of relief. (Then again, I was probably dehydrated at the time!)
AJ crawled into my bed recently, quite late at night. For the first time, she asked to have a sip of my water. I walked her gulp the room-temperature drink down like her little life depended on it. She settled right down after that.
Like mother like daughter.
Day 245 – Many of my posts have been about food because, let’s face it, I’m a total foodie. If I had more time and lots more money, I’d be cooking up a storm every day. I’ve love to go to culinary school just for the fun of it.
But food isn’t my beautiful thing for today – sharing is. My Jam Experiment (Blueberry Apple Caramel) is quite a tasty success. I don’t have a ton of it, but the first person to request a sample through the comments below, Twitter or Facebook will get a small jar of it delivered by yours truly.